The Perfect Book for Bedtime

During waking hours I read a very wide variety of things. I normally have at least two or three books going at once. Right now I’m reading an anthology of Buddhist writings, a manual on HTML (for the blog, you know) and a novel. Plus there are always piles of magazines around the house, and the three daily newspapers we receive.

I enjoy all of them very much, but none of those fit the bill for pure bedtime reading. Luckily for me, I inherited my mother’s ability to drop off very quickly and sleep soundly. Even if I’m engrossed in a ripping yarn, I never make it for more than a few pages once I get into a cozy bed with the lights turned down. For me, the perfect bedtime reading is something I can read in short bites, something untroubling, so I can drop off with a peaceful frame of mind.

Something like Emily Post’s Etiquette. I am the delighted owner of a hardback copy of the 1937 edition that I picked up years ago in a used book store. I love this book, and have read some sections over and over. Contrary to what you may expect, it’s written in an informal, somewhat breezy style, and although Mrs. Post was a true stickler for proper form, her voice as a writer never seems stiff or prudish. I admit the large format of the book is a bit of a drawback for bedtime—the book is 877 pages with its index—but otherwise it’s perfect. Short chapters, undemanding syntax, and a restful sense of order and decorum send me right to sleep with a smile on my lips every time.

I enjoy this nearly seventy-year-old edition far more than I would a contemporary book on manners. You’ll understand why when I list a few chapter headings:

• The Country House
• At the Opera, the Theater, and Other Public Gatherings
• Cards, Names and Visits
• Teas and Other Afternoon Parties

The book describes the society of a privileged world with balls and dances, weekend house parties, formal dinners and servants. While she also discusses the well-appointed house of a young and less-wealthy couple, even the smallest household incorporates at least one full-time maid. Two of my favorite chapters are “Modern Man and Girl,” about dating etiquette, and “Popularity, Fraternity House Party, and Commencement,” which is all about how a proper young lady visits the college of her beau. There is no consideration that the young lady might herself be attending college. The collegiate world that Post outlines, of house mothers and curfews, is so unrecognizable to me that it might as well be a document of the Victorian era.

And yet there is so much wisdom here that still applies. Post’s bottom line is always kindness and consideration, and that’s what makes me love her. The rules for tipping servants in a large country house are exotic and quaint to me, but her advice on writing a letter that will entertain, or how to speak gently to the bereaved, or how to behave as a guest will never be out of date.

And then there are continual flashes of humor. On the subject of mourning: “The young widow should wear all black for a year, and then second mourning for six months. She should, however, never remain in mourning for her first husband after she has decided she can be consoled by a second.”

Nothing stuffy about that!